Idiot parent? Blame someone else!

Here we go. another person immersing themselves into technology when I’m sure a toaster confuses them.

This guy who’s apparently rich as fuck and doesn’t care buys some laptops for is kids. Their ages? 11 and 14. The price of each laptop? Over $1,800, each.

His kids have a track record of destroying gadgets he gets, yet he never learns.
So one of them finally broke one of the laptops.

He calls us all pissed off that this happened, and I assure him that if it was a FACTORY problem, it would be covered, but not if it was damaged by one of his kids.
He brings it in, I take one look and I know it was struck with significant force.

I’m now at this point not trying to insult his children.
I goto look up his records and of course find nothing, I didn’t do this sale, so I have NO clue where to look. So now he’s mad we don’t have record of his sale, understandably so.
I have to do some digging to get the model and serial, since his kids probably scratched them off. But I got the info. So now he’s mad there is no serial or model.
I talk to the laptop maker and they tell me to bring it to a local service center.
I ask my boss to take it there since I cannot drive.

They run a 4 hour diagnostic and conclude that it was abused and is not covered under warranty. It will cost $699 to replace the screen. I am forced to relay this info to the customer. Hole, Ee, Shit. I got an EARful. I tried so hard not to flip out and blame his kids. And I somehow managed to do that, but now I look like a fool.
He kept going on about age-appropriate laptops and shit. Idiot gave an almost $2000 laptop to an ELEVEN year old! There’s no such thing as an age-appropriate laptop!

What bothers me the most is that he’s mad at us when his KIDS broke the damn thing. If it simply crapped out or a part honestly failed it would be done already!
I’m ready to call it quits, blame his kids, get it fixed, and tell him his business is no longer welcome.